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Anarchist Priest

My spiritual and practical journey to becoming an ordained Anglican priest in Canada.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Why Anarchist Priest

My juxtaposition of anarchism with a Christian priest may at first seem strange. In North American society we have taken the fear of death to such an extreme we support a culture of denial, which glosses over each of our mortalities. It is as if death is something that happens to other people and if it should try and interfere with us, well, we’re off to Wal-Mart for the sale! We center our focus on youth culture and trying to pander to it with ridiculous reality television programs, movies that echo simple comic books and music comprised entirely of gimmicks yet devoid of soul, my deepest apologies Britney and Celine. As long as we race towards ever-elusive ‘status’ we distract ourselves from our real troubles, our real lives.

As a bitter and extremely cynical young man I was sickened by the piggy-at-the-trough condition that seems pandemic in Canada and the United States. I retreated to the simple pleasures in life, sex, music, art and food. I did not seek status, but I was selfish in my life seeking only pleasures as much as anyone else. I was kind to others. I supported those I thought needed it. But I felt that the totality of existence was a happy accident, and that everything in the immensity of the universe was completely relative. Sure, Hitler was evil, but what did a distant galaxy care? Then my daughter was born.

In that moment I was made aware of a completely different universe. Here was this small, weak creature that needed me for its very survival. And all I could feel was this overwhelming typhoon of love that not only made me wish to subject myself to her every whim, but I was glad to do it. My leisure directed nihilism was at an end. I was slowly realizing that not just pleasure, but happiness and peace were also worthwhile goals. I don’t think I had discovered anything profound, but what I felt was. It was this overpowering feeling that gripped me. It was more intense than any stimulant I’d ever tried. It was deeper than any relationship I had ever known. All this in a matter of minutes with someone who could not speak, not even open her eyes. Truly, true love at first sight.

From this moment on I was keenly aware of how delicate and precious life is. Stepping back from the void of prurient nihilism I could acknowledge that being human was something special, even on our unique planet and all it’s many special living things.

Some might argue that my brain chemistry was altered as it is most mammals with the birth of their offspring, and these chemicals are only tricking me into a different perspective. To them I say try getting through a day with out love. Now try getting through your life without it. Can’t be done. We’re hard wired for it.

So, while I am pursuing a career around the notion that there is a benevolent impulse in the universe I have been formed and am still driven by the ideas of my youth, hence, I'm an anarchist preist.

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